My Rant on Why The Emmy Nominations Have Become a F***ing Joke, Part 1

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/14/arts/television/2011-emmy-award-nominees.html?_r=1

The Emmy nominations came out today, and I don't think I have ever been more disappointed in the slough of shows, actors and actresses slated for the awards show this year.

A DISCLAIMER: Now, this year was fairly lacking for television, with heavy hitters like Lost, 24 and Battlestar Galactica ending their runs, and Breaking Bad missing the cut off for inclusion by 2 months, but still.  This group of nominees is pure ass.

Going award by award (comedies first), let's take a look at these abominations of nominations (rhymes are awesome!):

Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy
I'm mostly okay with this one, although Jane Krakowski getting nominated at all makes me want to barf.  I really like 30 Rock, but she is easily the worst part about it and I cringe every time she is on screen.  And not in a good way, like with vintage The Office, but in a "get the fuck off the screen you annoying bitch" kind of way.  She should have been replaced by Phyllis Sommerville or Cynthia Nixon from "The Big C", Cobie Smulders from "How I Met Your Mother" or by Alison Brie from "Community".  Otherwise I'm generally okay with this list.  It's really too bad Curb Your Enthusiasm didn't have an eligible season.  Suzie Essman would run away with this award.

My Nominees (winner in CAPS)
Phyllis Sommerville, "The Big C"
SOFIA VERGARA, "Modern Family"
Julie Bowen, "Modern Family"
Alison Brie, "Community"
Cynthia Nixon, "The Big C"
Kaley Cuoco, "The Big Bang Theory" (she is seriously the only watchable thing about that show)

Sofia Vergara is one of the many amazing things about Modern Family.  Second choice would be Phyllis Sommerville.

Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy
I hate this list.  Every single one of those Modern Family nominees deserved it, but I still hate the 4 of the 6 nominees are from the same show.  Two and a Half Men needs to burn in hell, so I hope Jon Cryer breaks something before the ceremony, and Chris Colfer's mouth shouldn't be allowed on television (also, I'm ultra-biased against Glee this year because it was a steaming pile of poop compared to the first season).  This year was mother-fucking LOADED with awesome supporting roles for male actors in comedies, and they still nominate 4 guys from the same show?  Bullshit!  I can't even write a real sentence, so here's a list of extremely deserving people who got snubbed: Dani Pudi and Donald Glover (Community), Oliver Platt (The Big C), Aziz Ansari, Adam Scott, Rob Lowe, RON MOTHERFUCKING SWANSON Nick Offerman and Chris Pratt (Parks and Recreation), Neil Patrick Harris and Jason Segel (How I Met Your Mother), Garret Dillahunt (Raising Hope).  The more I look at it, the more I hate it.  Once again, too bad for no CYE.  Bob Einstein as Marty Funkhouser would sneak in over Stonestreet.

My Nominees:
Ty Burrell, "Modern Family"
Eric Stonestreet, "Modern Family"
NICK OFFERMAN, "Parks and Recreation"
Oliver Platt, "The Big C"
Adam Scott, "Parks and Recreation"
Donald Glover, "Community"

but really, ANY of these guys deserve to win.  That is just how f'ing loaded this category is this year.  And they still nominated Jon fucking Cryer.  Ty Burrell is my second choice and I hope he wins the real thing.

Best Actress in a Comedy
This one is hard for me, because I don't generally watch a lot of female-led comedies, and, to be honest, I don't think I'd change a damn thing in this category.  All of the nominees are deserving, except maybe Melissa McCarthy, but that's just because I loathe Chuck Lorre and everything he does.  Melissa McCarthy is generally a good actress and, while I haven't subjected myself to an episode of Mike & Molly, I imagine she performs well in it.

Winner: AMY POEHLER, "Parks and Recreation"

Laura Linney is clearly the best here, but her role is barely comedic at all.  Amy Poehler made Leslie Knope so unique and hilarious.  For those who don't believe me, watch the season 3 episode "The Flu".  You will cry laughing.

Best Actor in a Comedy
I don't like this list either.  Not because the majority of these guys are undeserving (Steve Carell and Rainn Wilson were the only good things about The Office this year, but the season as a whole was so damn bad that I feel like it doesn't deserve anything), but there are more deserving people, like Joel McHale (Community) and Josh Radnor (How I Met Your Mother).

My Nominees:
Louis C.K., "Louie"
Joel McHale, "Community"
Josh Radnor, "How I Met Your Mother"
ALEC BALDWIN, "30 Rock"
Steve Carrell, "The Office"
Rainn Wilson, "The Office" (he deserves to be in the lead category)

I realize he has won this like 4 times in a row, but he's just that damn funny, and this category is rather weak.  My second choice would be Josh Radnor.

Best Comedy
This category is an abortion.  This is easily the worst of them all.  The Office, Big Bang Theory and Glee were travesties last season.  At least with the other categories, you could make cases for individual performances in poor programs (except Jon Cryer), but there is no excuse for those three shows making it in.  I could understand if it was a garbage year and the committee was just picking old favorites, but this year had a great lineup of comedies.  I am appalled.  Simply appalled.

My Nominations:
"The Big C"
"Community"
"How I Met Your Mother"
"Modern Family"
"PARKS AND RECREATION"
"Raising Hope"

Parks and Recreation's 3rd season may go down as one of the best comedy seasons of anything ever.  Every episode was pure comedic gold.  My second choice would be... nothing.  I enjoyed each of these shows, but P&R completely killed it every single week.  1-2 more consistent seasons and it will legitimately enter the conversation when discussing Best Comedies of All Time with the likes of Arrested Development and Seinfeld.

So, you can see how terrible the nominations are.  I'll get to the dramas in a day or two, because those offend me less.  The drama field was a barren wasteland, so I can't fault a lot of the choices, although a few irk me.  But we'll get to that later.

Why "How I Met Your Mother" is the Best* Comedy on Television

*by "best", I mean my favorite.  "Arrested Development" still holds that crown.


Recently, my girlfriend and I finished rewatching all of the aired episodes of "How I Met Your Mother" (henceforth referred to as HIMYM, because How I Met Your Mother is annoying as shit to type), which is currently about to wrap up its sixth season, which also happens to be its sixth quality season.  Before I go on, let me put that into perspective.  "The Office," one of the most highly regarded shows on the air, is currently in its seventh season, and it has been 3+ years since a quality one.  So, there.

HIMYM revolves around the lives of five friends who live in New York City.  The show starts with Ted Mosby (2030 version is voiced by Bob Saget, present time version is played by Josh Radnor) telling a story to his children in the year 2030 about how he met their mother.  The story begins when two central characters, Marshall (Jason Segel) and Lily (Alyson Hannigan) (college sweethearts who have been together for 9 years) get engaged.  Marshall's college/current roommate and best friend, Ted, decides that he wants to find "the one" and settle down when he hears of Marshall and Lily's engagement.  It is at this point that he sees a girl (Robin, played by Cobie Smulders) from across the bar (McLaren's, one of the central locales of the show) and falls quickly for her.  The very first episode ends with a twist, however, when it is revealed by 2030-Ted that this is the day he met "Aunt Robin", one of his best friends and an honorary aunt to his kids.  Right off the bat you know that Robin isn't The One.

A small aside: This is where most people decide what kind of show this is going to be for them.  In my discussions around town and the internet, I have discovered that most people decided that their primary concern was going to be The Mother, and her ultimate identity.  This is a mistake.  This first episode is meant to give the audience the groundwork for the eventual (and still yet to happen) reveal of the mother, but at the same time let them know that The Mother isn't the most important thing in the show.  Even from the very first episode, the audience is supposed to know that the show is about Ted, and how his journey through his late-20s and early-30s allows him to grow into the person he needs to be and arrive at the point in time when he meets The Mother.  People seem to have a hard time understanding this, which is one reason I hear a lot of hate for this show because it "takes too long to go anywhere."  Readers, keep this in mind if you ever decide to start watching.  Anyway...

The first season deals with Ted's newfound obsession with getting married and gives the audience some insight into this group of friends.  When the show starts, Marshall, a kid from St. Cloud, Minnesota, is a law student at NYU, studying to become an environmental lawyer, because his dream is to work for the NRDC (National Resource Defense Council).  His fiancée, Lily, is a kindergarten teacher who went to college to be an artist, but was never able to realize her dream.   Ted is a mid-level architect at a New York architecture firm who wants nothing more than to design a skyscraper in the NYC skyline.  Robin is a local TV news reporter working for Metro News 1 (the lowest rated metro news channel) with dreams of hosting a cable news show.  The 5th member of the group is Barney (played spectacularly by Neil Patrick Harris), a suit-wearing, scotch-drinking, cigar-smoking playboy whose only initial goal in life is to make money, have fun and get laid.  Now that you have the groundwork for the characters...

I am going to try to stay away from specific plot points in order to keep from spoiling new viewers, but I may spoil a thing or two here and there in order to get my point across.  HIMYM is an absolutely phenomenal show for several reasons.  First, it is the most relatable show on television.  Second, it is marketed as a generic sitcom (which turns off as many viewers as it brings in), but it is very, very far from a generic sitcom.  Third, the portrayal of these five friends and how they mature and change as they grow older is spot on.  Fourth, it is absolutely hilarious, but can still handle hard subjects and heavy material without feeling heavy handed.  Starting with #4, here is some more detail.

#4 - It is absolutely hilarious, but can still handle hard subjects and heavy material without feeling heavy handed.
It's a comedy.  It's supposed to be funny.  You're supposed to laugh.  But what really makes this show amazing in the pure-comedy category is that it is a perfect balance of many different styles of comedy.  It has lots of accessible sitcom-style humor, lots of referential in-jokes and call-backs without going too over the top (while I adore the shit out of "Community," it is definitely guilty of this), lots of character-based humor, some physical comedy, lots of clever pop-culture references and throwbacks, and plenty of what I like to call "slow burn" humor (jokes that are seeded early and teased out until exploding into hilarious moments).  At the same time, the show deals with a lot of heavy material.  Some examples include: several divorces, cheating, family deaths, abandonment issues, unknown paternity, marriage, depression, unemployment, debt, fate vs. choice.  HIMYM doesn't handle these subjects like a normal sitcom, either through some heavy-handed moral message (ala Saved by the Bell) or an inappropriate and distasteful amount of humor (ala Two and A Half Men), but instead manages to balance the issue with an appropriate level of humor.  The death of a character's father, for example, is handled with almost zero direct humor, while a mini-storyline about credit-card debt is loaded with direct comedy.  Balance is the essence of everything on HIMYM.

#3 - The portrayal of these five friends and how they mature and change as they grow older is spot on.
Every single person on HIMYM has changed drastically since their introduction in the very first episode, yet every person still feels true to the characters we met in that first episode.  Granted, there have been some minor hiccups along the way, primarily in regards to the first couple of seasons, but I give the writers/creators a free pass for this due to the show's fate being in a constant state of flux (HIMYM was a last-second renewal for its first 3 seasons, leading to a lot of rushed storylines).  Once the show settled into some comfortable ratings and earned itself a near indefinite lifespan from CBS, the continuity really cemented itself.  Anyway.  Every character on the show has dealt with some sort of life-altering event during the course of the show, both internal and external, yet none of the situations has felt forced.  The growth of the characters feels completely natural.  I credit this both to the writing staff, and to the cast.  This cast is phenomenal.  There isn't a single actor I would want replaced with someone else.  As a testament to that, even though I don't particularly care for Lily and occasionally think she's a bad person, I wouldn't ever call her inconsistent, poorly written or a bad character, and I sure as hell wouldn't want anyone other than Alyson Hannigan playing her.  This is why the show gets better on repeated viewings.  Much of the character humor is lost on the audience in the first season, simply because you haven't gotten to know them yet.  When you go back and watch it again, the original stuff you laughed at is just as funny as the first time, and now you have additional character-based humor to laugh at.  It just gets better and better.

#2 - It is marketed as a generic sitcom (which turns off as many viewers as it brings in), but it is very, very far from a generic sitcom.
I went over most of this in #4, but here are some additional thoughts.  CBS's marketing would lead one to believe that HIMYM is in the same category as the rest of CBS's cranially cadaverous lineup of 2.5 Men, The Big Bang Theory, Mike and Molly and $#!% My Dad Says.  It is absolutely not.  Just watch it and you'll see what I mean.  I will warn you, the first season feels very sitcom-y, but the show quickly grows out of that.  Just trust me and give it a chance.  Without further ado, the most important reason the show is the best:

#1 - It is the most relatable show on television.
I didn't really drink in college.  I have been single for a grand total of fourteen months since I was 16.  I don't really go to bars.  I don't womanize.  I'm not married.  I'm in no rush to get married.  I have no desire to have kids now (and am slowly losing the desire to have them at all).  I don't live in NYC.  One would think that I would have absolutely nothing in common with these characters yet, somehow, I relate with these characters more than any other in any form of media.  Sometimes, I feel like I am Ted, or Marshall, or even Robin at times.  The stories that are told, the decisions that the characters make and the themes that are explored are universal.  Every Single Person Who watches this show will find at least one character to whom they relate exceptionally well (and have friends who basically are the other characters).  On top of this, phrases and sayings from this show will enter your every-day vocabulary, simply because so many of the things those phrases and sayings are based on have happened to every single one of us at some point.  A few examples include The Chain/Circle/Pyramid of Screaming, Graduation Goggles (my personal favorite), The Reacher & The Settler, The Hot/Crazy Scale, The Cheerleader Effect and Revertigo.  If you can't already figure it out and want to know what these mean, watch the show.  They will all make perfect sense and give you a new way to describe the situations you get yourself into.

I could go into waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more detail about how amazing this show is, but I can't without spoiling the shit out of it.  Hey, another reason it's so awesome.  It's a comedy where the viewers actually care about the storyline and would be pissed if something were spoiled for them (HIMYM is full of cliff-hangers and plot twists.  How many comedies can say that?).

Everyone needs to watch this show.  And if by some crazy miracle you watch the show and don't find it at all relatable, then I may question your humanity.  You heard it here first.  If you don't relate in some way to HIMYM, you are a reptoid.

A Minor Crisis of Self

This past week, after stumbling upon a friend's blog, I realized something about myself.

I am no longer an intellectual person.

For the first four years of college, I loved to learn.  I mean yeah, it was homework and tests and that sucked, but I adored just gobbling up knowledge in both of my majors and anywhere else I could find it.  I wanted to know more and more and didn't want to stop learning more.  I wanted to talk about everything I learned, discuss it and argue about it until I turned blue in the face.  In my fifth year, my motivation to learn started getting edged out by my hatred of tests and homework, and by the end I just wanted to be done.  However, I promised myself that I would start reading for recreation again, something I stopped doing somewhere between my sophomore and junior years due to just being too goddamn busy, because I knew it was one way I could force myself to do something that stimulated my brain.  There were so many classic novels that I want to read (Ender's Game, 1984, Brave New World, to name a few) and I knew I would have time once I graduated.

It never happened.  Once I graduated, I was so burned out from reading for classes (my last two semesters were brutal in the mindless reading category) that I never picked up another book.  I feared that this would last forever.  Luckily for me, a new opportunity presented itself.  I found myself in a new job that required a lot of travel, including flying all over the damn country.  Finally, I decided, I would have time with which I couldn't do anything but read.  I bought a stack of books, made a list of more to buy, and got really excited about the prospect of doing something intelligent again.

Guess what happened.  Go on, guess.  I made it through a grand total of TWO books before I started bringing my DS with on my flights.  Fucking TWO.  And one of them barely even counts (The Book of Basketball by Bill Simmons.  While entertaining and very educational, I can't exactly say that learning about the history of the NBA expanded my intellectual base).  If anyone's curious, the other was Shalimar the Clown by Salman Rushdie, which was definitely stimulating.  And sitting in my stack, untouched, a veritable treasure trove of modern classics (Blood Meridian, Infinite Jest, Gravity's Rainbow, several books by Haruki Murakami, etc).  When I realized this, I become disgusted with myself, only to realize further that my entire self has become rather shallow.

My personal life (not counting spending time with my lovely girlfriend) basically consists of watching television shows (hence why a future post is going to be an in-depth analysis of How I Met Your Mother.  Brace yourselves), surfing the internet, and playing video games.  When did I revert to a 14 year old version of myself?  What the hell happened?

This is especially jarring to me because, generally, the rest of my life is rather great.  I love my girlfriend, I have a great job that is going to offer me a lot of opportunity in the future, I have finally gotten myself healthy physically (losing more than 80 lbs in the last year) and I am about to move out of the shithole that is Columbia Heights.  My life is generally good, but it's missing something.  It is missing the intellectual challenge I received nearly every day while in college.  It is missing the passionate arguments about politics, business, ethics, hell, even life.  I always hoped that I could rely on my friends for this stimulation once I graduated, only to realize that the vast majority of my friendships have become shallow voids or have faded into nothing.  I can count the number of truly close friends that I have on one hand, and I'm lucky if I get to see them twice a month.  I just plain don't have any motivation to improve myself intellectually, simply because I don't have to.

I'm not even really sure what I want to do about any of this, or what I even can do about any of it.  I need to do something different, whether that be meeting some new people I can spar with, or trying to reconnect with some old friends, just something.  I can't keep going on the way I am, because it is inevitably going to drive me insane.  We'll see what happens.

2010 Movies Awards

It's that time of year again!  I feel as though I saw a much better and larger selection of films this year, but I still missed some of the potential Oscar contenders.

Without further adieu, here are my totally made up movie awards for 2010 (winners of each category in italics):

Stinker of the Year
Iron Man 2
Get Him to The Greek

Dumbest but Funnest
Machete
The A-Team
Piranha 3-D
Predators

Best Oscar Bait
127 Hours
The King's Speech
Shutter Island
The Kids Are All Right
The Ghost Writer

Best Comic/Children's Book Adaptation
Kick Ass
Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

Best Actor
Jesse Eisenberg - "The Social Network"
Jeremy Renner - "The Town"
Colin Firth - "The King's Speech"
Leonardo Dicaprio - "Inception"
Jeff Bridges - "True Grit"

Best Actress
Hailee Stienfeld - "True Grit"
Natalie Portman - "Black Swan"
Anne Hathaway - "Love and Other Drugs"
Annette Bening - "The Kids Are All Right"
Rebecca Hall - "The Town"

Best Score/Music
Carter Burwell - "True Grit"
Clint Mansell - "Black Swan"
Hans Zimmer - "Inception"
Trent Reznor and Atticus Rose - "The Social Network"
Jeff Beck - "Scott Pilgrim vs. The World"

Best Director
Darren Aronofsky - "Black Swan"
David Fincher - "The Social Network"
Christopher Nolan - "Inception"
Ben Affleck - "The Town"
Lee Unkrich - "Toy Story 3"

Top 10 Movies of the Year (In order)
1. The Social Network
2. Black Swan
3. Toy Story 3
4. Inception
5. The Town
6. The King's Speech
7. Piranha 3-D
8. True Grit
9. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
10. Love and Other Drugs

Movies that I missed that likely have shots at the top 10: Buried, The Fighter, Winter's Bone, Restrepo, Rabbit Hole, Blue Valentine, Biutiful, Let Me In.